Addressing some recent events

Discussion in 'Rules & Announcements' started by Anamanaguchi, Feb 24, 2019.

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  1. Hey there

    So normally I wouldn't do this but I want to address some recent drama because it just spiraled out of control. For those who aren't aware, you are quite fortunate.

    Two members had a falling out. Each say the other person started it. Each post on Pancake about the situation and have very not nice things to say about each other. Each experience anonymous harassment. Each insist that the other person is involved, and make even more posts about each other. Each insist the other person be punished.

    There was no easy solution here. I gave an absolute final warning, if they directly talk about each others behavior on the site, they will receive a warning point without hesitation, which approaches ban territory. Some of their friends made posts, so they received warning points, as I currently have zero tolerance for this situation. One of the instigators went against this, so they received a warning point and as a result were banned for a 1 month period. The other chose to leave Pancake.

    Each are equally valued members of Pancake. Each have their own story, struggles, and have gone through a lot of pain recently. Each I hold in high regards and care for -- this is a site for people who already have things hard enough, and I want to protect every member to my best ability. However, I could not punish one unless I held the other person to the exact same standard. I did NOT want to ban them both, so I tried to navigate the situation as best as I can. These are the unfortunate results.

    We can't take back what happened, but we can change and become better. Members, I urge you, if you are experiencing harassment, the very first step is to report it report it report it. Not just the first time you see it. Report every post about you. Report every PM. Screenshot chatlogs. Share openly with the staff what is going on, as much as you can. These are good practices that some involved practiced or at least tried to, which helped.

    But the second step to this, which is almost even more important than the first step, is to be patient. This situation escalated SO rapidly that the staff could not keep up with our recent busy schedules. Please, do not report your harasser and then turn around and make the exact same kind of posts they are making!!! Report and WALK AWAY. Do not engage. Do not pass go. Do not fight fire with fire.

    Perhaps I don't have the full picture of this situation, and perhaps there is more that I haven't been told about. But unless you tell me, tell the staff, we won't know. Try to point to evidence, as much as you can. We can only act on what we know.

    Please feel free to PM me about this if you wish to discuss this matter further. I hope this unfortunate saga is over and that we can all move on and learn from this, myself included. I am not perfect, I am just another mentally ill person trying to make a place I can call home, but I will take what I learned from this and do my best to make sure nothing like this happens again and do better if it does.

    Thank you everyone for sticking by Pancake and thank you for your patience and grace with me. I'm very fortunate to have so many wonderful members who think Pancake is worth loving.
    Mireilla, matcha, sweetpeach and 56 others like this.
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