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What anorexia thought are you having at the minute?

Discussion in 'Anorexia' started by Oddsock, Mar 22, 2018.

  1. The Man is out this evening, so I am doing what I always do when I am alone. I cannot for the life of me start preparing my little weirdo meal until 8pm. I have no idea where this rule came from, but it cannot be broken. OCD? is it an autism spectrum rigidity thing? Sigh.

    Real anorexia thought - maybe just don't have supper. Do I dirty a plate and pretend? I hate deceiving him. Also, it would stress me to go to bed with an unwashed plate in the sink. Sometimes I really hate this!
  2. Oh yeah, I feel this. I got food poisoning a couple of months ago and the loss was positively DELIGHTFUL. I spent the next few days trying to figure out what the offending food was - not to avoid it, like a normal sane person, but to know what it is so I can replicate the experience if necessary. (I am not bulimic, nor do I purge, but man oh man I certainly see how seductive it could be.)
    nothanksfam likes this.
  3. The same reason a lot of us do. We are mentally ill.
    Still_In_The_Game and Chithiel like this.
  4. I'm worrying about whether or not ill have lost weight on the scale by tomorrow
    skinthin04 likes this.
  5. Definitely relating hard to this. I’m SO obsessive about certain things having to be eaten at exact precise times, and there is just no wiggle room. Even individual bites - I don’t so this any more, but I used to do things like taking one bite precisely every 5 minutes. I’d obsessively keep looking at the clock as I studied “only been 3 minutes... 4 minutes... 5 at last!”, and if I missed the 5 minute interval, gotta wait until the next. Interesting how ED rules as such become so unbreakable!
  6. Hey! I used to eat things only in groups of five. It made things like peas rather time consuming!
    So many rituals, I am always wondering, is this normal? Do normal people line up their apple slices in order of size? Do normal people count their grapes and pomegranate seeds? Do normal people eat things in a certain order, and if they accidentally miss a bit of something throw the rest away?
    nothanksfam, skinthin04 and TheGymBum like this.
  7. this is strange, but sometimes it’s nice to be reminded that i’m not just a horrible, weird, illogical person who chooses to be this way, i’m mentally ill. when i’m caught up in things, it’s hard to step back and remember that it isn’t all my fault. you weren’t talking to me but i needed to read this today, thank you

    Sent from the public bathroom i’m crying in using Tapatalk
  8. I know people who do have some minor quirky food things, but it’s definitely much more common in people with EDs... and much more powerful, like normal people don’t freak out if they can’t do their quirky food stuff for whatever reason, whereas I (and a lot of others w EDs) panic lol. I think for me a lot of it stemmed from finding ways to make my food last longer and or eating less so from that point on they were mandatory in my mind, lol.

    Totally agree with this!! There’s so much comfort in camaraderie...
  9. @TheGymBum
    It is alarming how quickly it morphs from 'this is my favourite spoon' to 'if I can't use my favourite spoon I just won't eat this'.

    It goes from casual preference to hard and fast RULE.
  10. Omg this. I cannot eat my dinner without my favorite teaspoon....pretty weird
  11. Yes!! Ha I cried my eyes out a while ago as was upset for a ridiculously long time because my favorite baby spoon that I used for like everything got destroyed by the garbage disposal lol. So silly but I couldn’t let go!
  12. had tortilla chips with spinach dip and half a really tasty nut bar today

    unfortunately this means i'll have to figure out a way to skip dinner without being suspicious

    lately i've noticed i've been more in control which has been nice :) but i bloated so much from my period and i'm up 2lbs from my lw this week :(
    taeminteaandthin likes this.
  13. A bit of a hectic morning - somehow I didn't manage to weigh myself. AAAaaahhh! How do I know what kind of day to have, without knowing that stupid number?
  14. Wow I can actually feel my stomach rumbling and hear it as I type this. But I shouldn't be hungry still, most people survive on less than me. Better eat less tomorrow ffs.
  15. i need to know my weight, but i'm too scared to weigh myself. i don't know what i'lol do if i gain, or even maintain. my self-hatred will be too much.
  16. You ever forget that life does't suck this much for normal people? Like, I barely notice half my symptoms anymore because that's just how life is for me :)
    julia pender and Wispywaif like this.
  17. I hate that I can't wear cool jeans like mom jeans because they are always too big or simply look ridiculous on me. perks of being underweight
    coesoh and taeminteaandthin like this.
  18. I want to walk or lie down on my bed n cut
    julia pender likes this.
  19. why did i eat a 210 cal kit kat and purge it it was such a small amount ? also i am convinced i’ll gain weight from eating anything with calories even if it’s like 10
  20. lowkey furious at bf for buying the soy milk with 7 more calories per 100 ml
    Still_In_The_Game and sweetpeach like this.