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What anorexia thought are you having at the minute?

Discussion in 'Anorexia' started by Oddsock, Mar 22, 2018.

  1. idk if it counts but i thought 'hey maybe i can plan a cheat day next week' and immediately felt guilty for even thinking about something like that..
  2. i wish a youtube channel existed where it's an extremely underweight girl eating junk food, like those asmr "watch me eat" channels

    i feel like a terrible person but all the eating channels on youtube all have average weight people and i can only see them as fat and i'm getting so agitated because i want to see an anorexic girl binging on fast food so that i can stop my own fucking cravings

    i've been binging and exercise purging so much this past week and i've been craving mcdonalds all day and after doing groceries for the fam i was going to binge on nuggets but then out of nowhere my mom called my cell just to yell at me for being out late like SORRY you told me to do the fucking groceries :( so i just went straight home instead of going to mcd's like i had planned

    sorry if this is kind of a rant but i'm just really, REALLY upset and agitated that i couldn't have my chicken nuggets

    i honestly don't know whether i have AN or BED because sometimes it seems like i have AN-R but then sometimes it just feels like i have AN b/p subtype but then i get so incredibly emotional about food that what if it's actually binge eating disorder?? idk what's wrong with me :(
  3. i love running my fingers over my bones (:
  4. So just been eating at most a sandwich again. It gets me through the day.
    Still_In_The_Game and sweetpeach like this.
  5. i love fasting
    Oddsock likes this.
  6. Me too but being married makes it so much harder. Especially when they know all my old habits. Just be safe and make sure you use supplements.
  7. awww thanks for the advice (:

    yeah hoping to fast five days but ik it wont happen haha
  8. Maybe try a day of eating something small followed by nothing. I used to go day's upon day's with nothing. Your body soon adapts to it. If it's a routine
    Still_In_The_Game and sweetpeach like this.
  9. I love this idea!!
    Still_In_The_Game and Oddsock like this.
  10. I'm mostly just eating a 400 calorie sandwich. I have less people on my case now too. Which has helped. My weight I can tell is going the right way now. And I'm hoping to get back below 95lbs. My lowest was roughly 78lbs but I have been in recovery or semi recovery for a few years. It's been hard and annoying. Then my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and she is close to death now. Which has probably kicked my ed back into gear again.
    Still_In_The_Game and sweetpeach like this.
  11. oh gosh. i am so sorry about that. *big hugs* you can talk to me any time. my grandfather has cancer as well.
  12. It's hard to watch your own family member struggle. They kept me going and kept faith in me even though I was self destructing. I have no idea how I will cope after she goes. I know she was proud that I met and married my s/o and she got to see me do it. She had been giving 6 month's to 2 years.

    Most day's I try not to think too much about it. But I wake up expecting it to be over. I just would of rather it being my father and not my mother. As he was a violent person. But unfortunately he (god) likes to take good people first and leave the trash it seems.
    Still_In_The_Game and sweetpeach like this.
  13. i agree. its a shame. ): still, lots of hugs to you. keep me updated. <3
    Still_In_The_Game and Oddsock like this.
  14. I will do. Same with you. I mostly more post in here when I can.
    Still_In_The_Game and sweetpeach like this.
  15. A broken heart does wonders for fasting. Accidentally didn't eat for 2 days.
  16. why the FUCK did I just eat dinner when there's no one to see me do it.
  17. why am i having optional *liquid calories*

    mumbled from beneath a blanket
  18. I wish my immune system worked
    Still_In_The_Game likes this.
  19. It was my mum getting ill with a mystery illness and then dying in hospital 7 weeks later that switched my eating disorder from the bulimia that I'd had for years to anorexia, which is about 9 months ago now :(
    Oddsock likes this.
  20. I’m about to have a huge Coke Zero for dinner.
    fleshreapscorruption likes this.