What non-ed related things fuel your ed?

Discussion in 'Anorexia' started by bangtancoffee99, Mar 13, 2019.

  1. Popsicle sticks and chopsticks trigger me like um what. Also ceiling fans, cause like the two cords, one for the light and one for the fan, that gap in the middle is wide and i wanna cry.

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  2. Being successful. When my ED was at its worst I had so much motivation in all areas of my life. Everytime I start fasting again, I get my shit together, so anytime I'm seeming happy and well, it makes me wonder if it could be even better if I started fasting again.

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  3. Wanting to do well in classes. I always do better in my classes when I'm losing weight (slowly), as I seem to be more motivated to work and I'm generally more focused & happier. I was recovering back in 2015 and the one thing that brought me back was that I noticed I focus better when I'm not eating as much.
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  4. As op mentioned, work. My shifts usually start at 3:30, so I'll have food before then and then I don't get off till 8:30 or 9, meaning by the time I get home I'm gone to bed about 2 hours or so after work, less time to eat food and I skip dinner, win-win, and makes it easy as fuck to fast
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  5. LITERALLY THE FUCKING WORST. Like the absolute worst is at work when I like NEED to eat so i don’t die and then like feeling sick for an hour after I eat. RIP Blair. My anxiety has been pretty bad lately I’ve lost 6 lbs in 2 weeks (lol I’m not complaining) but at least I’ve only thrown up twice during this time. Both unintentional. Why.
  6. Spring and summer. Also family get-togethers where everyone will be eating. My whole family is very skinny (I am an exception) so just being around them really. Our extended family share a holiday home, and being there is very triggering as well for some reason. Maybe it's just because I am with them for days on end, but I think I have connected that house a bit with my ED which really sucks. I used to love that house.
  7. Fashion/aesthetic
    Major depression (double-edged sword, sometimes I don't have the motivation to eat and sometimes I'm tempted to comfort eat for the easy dopamine hit)
    That gross full/bloated feeling after eating

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  8. Specific people that have no relationship to eating disorders whatsoever. I.e. they have never had one in their lives, their loved ones have never had one, etc. Idk. It's just the attention of some people...
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  9. serving customers at work - i work in an icecream and waffle cafe and our food is SO calorie dense. i always find myself wondering if our customers eat like this regularly or if it’s a cheat meal. also to do with work, when overweight/obese people come in and get a meal with heaps of toppings AND a milkshake/heavy calorie drink.

    also pepsi max
  10. Whenever I stay at my dads lately
    I get to cook for him and he wont even questions me about not eating cuz "It's just a diet"

    That's pretty much the main thing right now
  11. people around me
    my family
  12. My job. If I bring food to work than the boy I nanny always asks for some and he usually ends up eating over half of whatever I bring. It makes restricting much easier.

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  13. Stress, other mental disorders, a life that gets out of control, stomach ache, gross smells, looking at food, work, dating, friends, social media. Ha, everything
  14. Anime
    Cute things (can range from toys over music to fashion)
    Dolls especially
    Seeing little children (sounds so weird oh god)
  15. certain bands make me want to starve (like HIM thats why my icon is ville valo). spring and fall for some reason is when i always relapse. and working really long shifts because skipping breakfast and lunch is easy