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Just out of curiosity, which disorder do you most identify with?

  1. Binge Eating Disorder

    4 vote(s)
  2. Bulimia Nervosa

    8 vote(s)
  3. Anorexia Nervosa

    70 vote(s)
  4. ED-NOS

    56 vote(s)
  5. Orthorexia

    5 vote(s)
  6. Other/Don't Know

    13 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. I don’t think that I really know why. I can remember being 5 years old and already thinking that I was too large. Whether it was genetic, or some sort of tic that I’d subconsciously inherited from the combined forces + my mother’s behavior, it’s certainly not rational at all.

    Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of surface-level reasons like anyone else. But they all come down to this mythical idea that my entire life will be better if I’m smaller, and that’s just not true.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Still_In_The_Game and sourcherry like this.
  3. i get that for sure. i cant even figure out what it was really about when it all started or why i fell into this shit,
  4. To look good, make people admire my body, get a boyfriend lel
  5. Because I can. For control.
  6. As an act of self-discipline
    As a form of self harm
    So I can feel successful and powerful
    It helps me cope when everything else is chaos
    To externalize what I'm going through
    For that sickly ~aesthetic~
    To get people to care (or at least pretend that they do)

    I've got this dumb idea that if I can overcome hunger I can somehow transcend all neediness (lol). But basically I'm just rotting from the inside out and I want to make that more apparent to everyone around me, I guess.
  7. because I hate myself;;
  8. Because :
    - I want to be able to wear whatever clothes I want and look nice
    - I want to feel well in my own skin, without being ashamed of my body fat.
    - It gives me a feeling of peace, freedom and power
    - It makes me feel in control of my life
    - I want to be liked..(not only for that..of course..but being slim is a thing I felt I was missing and I thought that this made me unworthy and unloveable)
    - I wanted to be able to enjoy food without guilt (that's stupid..i know)
    - Being slim, I feel that I deserve to enjoy life more, to give my best and receive sympathy, love, acceptance from others
    - I have perfectionism tendencies
    - I think that being slim equals somehow with being powerful, graceful, beautiful, non-needy, modest, a better person. people can t atack you/make ugly remarks because of your look
    - and.finally.. and the most important for me..because I wanted to be loved..really loved , not only being used for pleasure/whatever. I wanted to be & to feel good enough for someone( it was a guy I loved so much the time this ed begun) to love and keep me.. I was thinking that I am not worthy to be loved because I didn't look right/perfect . --> I was just so stupid..men doesn't worth the effort. don't want to generalise..but I think that many of them aren't really able to love.. they just think with their d***
  9. Holy shit. This really speaks to me. This is me... o_o

    Kay. I guess what I'm saying would probably be controversial. To be honest, my life is better (in a sense) when I'm at lower weight. When I was higher I hated how I looked and it wasn't me. I still struggle with dysmorphia, anxiety, feeling invalid, etc. but the feelings are less strong than when I was at a higher weight.

    And the part about coping is so true. So I'm a physics and math major, at a very "competitive university"; whenever I do badly on a test or I feel inferior to others academically I can't care about it that much because it has nothing to do with my eating disorder. I remember one time someone told me it was nice that I wasn't stressed about grades, and then my instinctive reaction was "!... oh, that's what normal people think about" ;;
    Kay._.D likes this.
  10. Because if I can be in control of my size, that means I'm in control of at least something in my totally out of control life.
  11. I like the look of skinny.
    I like to be in control.
    It is my identity.

    To externalize my internal pain.

    To punish myself.
    To punish others.
  12. I want to lose weight so I can be beautiful, - moreso. I don't like my body at a higher weight and I've got an aesthetic obsession with angular jaws and thin legs.
    To be respected for my self control.
    To feel my life is ordered/organized. It sometimes feels like when I'm eating normally I'm not disciplining myself/punishing myself enough.
    Restricting is punishment that feels right. So masochistic...
    To live off fumes... being strung out is actually something I used to enjoy.
    To get drunk on only a little.
    To run faster and longer because I have less weight to hold me back.

    However, my reasons to be in recovery are stronger and the pitfalls of extreme weight loss are detrimental to my future. So I'm just dieting healthfully for the most part now instead of using disordered behaviors.
  13. YESS this

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  14. To be treated better by others. If I'm skinny, I'll be seen in a more positive light.
    Quinn Fabray likes this.
  15. Confusing reasons, and certainly not the ones that started me on this journey.

    I don't feel good enough as I am.

    I don't like looking sickly, but then... I don't... I don't even know what I want at this stage. I'm scared of being "fat" even though I've never actually been fat. Even my hw was the very middle of healthy bmi and that wasn't for very long so...

    One minute I'm telling myself to eat, recover that there are much more important things in life, the next I'm in a panic over a mm of flesh somewhere insignificant and a miniscule amount of calories consumed that I can't undo.
    Feelslikebrick likes this.
  16. I'd like to look more manly and warriorlike, like a certain Folk Metal singer does. He's underweight as hell but still looks like a strong warrior.
    I always feel like I'm not good enough and people will probably treat me better and have more respect for me when I look skinny.
  17. I can respect that you want to look strong and like a warrior. That's really awesome that you want to look like that. Remember that a lot of that persona comes from a disciplined mind, so I would suggest strength training or fighting lessons to build your character and endurance!
    nothanksfam likes this.
  18. My reasons to be thin:
    *To shock people/get attention
    *For people to envy me
    *To feel pretty and gain confidence
    *To be the smallest in the room
    *For happiness...
    taeminteaandthin likes this.
  19. So I'll finally look better than the girl my fiance cheated on me with.
  20. Some are very petty but here we go
    -To be smaller than my childhood best friend, who was always considered the cute and pretty one as we got older and who did some very mean things that hit me very hard at that age. I've always felt inferior to her, so considering she will probably be more successful at life than I will I NEED to at least be the thinner and prettier one. At least I'm taller than her. (Funny thing is we haven't seen each other in like 8 or 9 years and I dont even want to meet her but JUST IN CASE WE MEET BY ACCIDENT)
    - to not become like my mom, very fat, unhappy, needy, annoying and controlling
    - to make my bf understand that my Ed is not a fkn joke (not that he said that but he just doesn't take it seriously bc I'm a normal weight)
    - to appease my inner fat child by reaching the first ugw I ever set for myself: 55 kg. Maybe then I'll be happy
    -as someone else said, to kind of make up for being fat and bullied and shy during most of my childhood and adolescence, now I want to be thin, loved by everyone (but only at a distance pls I cant actually deal with meaningful realtionships) and extroverted.

    Edit: sound kinda shallow compared to others, but those were the things I was just thinking about anyways before landing on this thread