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Just out of curiosity, which disorder do you most identify with?

  1. Binge Eating Disorder

    4 vote(s)
  2. Bulimia Nervosa

    8 vote(s)
  3. Anorexia Nervosa

    70 vote(s)
  4. ED-NOS

    56 vote(s)
  5. Orthorexia

    5 vote(s)
  6. Other/Don't Know

    13 vote(s)
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. I've seen this thread before and not known how to respond, then today it occurs to me: being thin IS my reason.
    Kay._.D and clueless like this.
  2. because i‘m mentally ill!?
    softboi, Scott and Quinn Fabray like this.
  3. Because my stomach is gigantic, and I just need to be dainty.
    Quinn Fabray likes this.
  4. i don't like the space i take up. the smaller i can be the less i feel like a waste of space--which is ironic because the smaller i get the more my mental health deteriorates and i hate myself for all new reasons.

    i want to be thin enough that i am unattractive to others and/or elicit a feeling of fragility/sense of needing care from others. i want people to see me and be scared i'll break. maybe something about the outside reflecting how pitiful i feel on the inside.

    also i don't know, i want to know i can become thin again? like i have the ability to do so. lose the weight. still have some semblance of my life. etc.
    Scott and NeverGoodEnough like this.
  5. i don’t even know anymore man


    you know ?
  6. I have too many but let's list my top five?

    1. my girlfriend is so, so much skinnier than me (she has a bmi of 18.5 but she eats normally??? how?????). I don't want to be the fat one in our relationship

    2. I was so skinny as a little kid and that's all people talk about when they look at younger photos of me and that just hurts so much. I don't want to be given "that look" after they finish gushing about my 7yo self's thigh gap.

    3. specifically in my culture, all the girls/females are expected to be slim/pretty and wow I've failed that in so many ways. I won't say too much but especially in western culture, people of my culture are commonly stereotyped to be really thin

    4. this one's really bad but my sister is also pretty skinny and I don't want to be the fat sister??

    5. my ex-friend keeps complaining about her weight (she's heavier than me but not by much) and she was so toxic to me; if i lose weight i'll piss her off. She complains to me because she knows i'm pretty close to ending up in the same boat as her and it's a way to get me really upset. I hate that.
  7. petty, but what springs to mind:
    - to be at a childhood/pubescent weight
    - receive attention and praise for my body
    - be light enough that (sexual partner) can pick me up (LOVE it when he carries me around how pathetic)
    - distance myself from my father, who is fat and greasy and a bad person, feeling morally superior to him by embodying qualities of restriction and restraint
    nothanksfam likes this.
  8. im really into fashion so i want to look better in clothes. i really want to start a fashion insta account but i don’t want to look stupid and laughable.

    when I relapsed in inpatient, they didn’t care about it cause of my bpd. even though i lost 10lbs, had to show them my vomit, walked in on me b/p and didn’t eat for 3 days. but they refused to lock my door after meals and told me to learn to manage it myself ‘as i won’t have anyone to lock my door in the community’. the whole thing pissed me off so much so im kinda doing it out of spite. part of me wants to end up in an ed unit so that the staff there find out and they realise their mistake. which is fucked up i know, but it’s probably my biggest reason.

    i want people at school to notice and to care. to hear about people talking about me.

    to look good in my prom dress :)

    so that when i look in the mirror i can see a difference
  9. -a form of self harm, because I have nothing to cut with
    -to feel like I'm not a waste of space anymore
    -to get attention
    -so my mum stops calling me fat
  10. To be happy. Also, to be loved.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Quinn Fabray and NeverGoodEnough like this.
  11. To hate myself just a little bit less
    Haku, Scott and Quinn Fabray like this.
  12. To be happy

    To wear all those dresses I got for myself as motivation

    It’s my asthetic

    To challenge those who said I could never

    To be motivated to achieve my dreams

    To be PRETTY

    To be THE skinny one

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Quinn Fabray likes this.
  13. To be like my older sister (naturally she is v thin)

    No. No. .

    I wanna be better than her!!!!! lol

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Quinn Fabray likes this.
  14. IDK, I'm a very on top of it person and very responsible and organized. It feels like my body is the only place I'm failing in that (v important part of my identity) and being thin seems like the most obvious way to clearly communicate that.
  15. To feel comfortable in my own skin, light and free of excesses in the body and free of extraneous thoughts in the mind.

    Sent from my G8141 using Tapatalk
  16. - to love myself
    - to be smaller than my friend who is near my height (im 4’10 and she’s 4’11)
    - to be the tiniest and cutest girl in the room
    - for people to like me

    tbh it feels like my goals are pretty bad but eh

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  17. Very very good summary.. I think that deep inside that's what we are longing for and that being (very) slim is not the principal goal, but a requirement for feeling loved and happy . (at least in our mad minds :emoji_unamused:)
    candyfruitfly95 likes this.
  18. Yeees ! Agree with that.. I feel the same:emoji_hearts:. ....I've never thought that perfectionism could mess up your life like that :emoji_worried:.
    Flowering_judas likes this.
    • I'll look better
    • I can wear nicer things (and clothes that AREN'T black, b/c rn black is the only colour that doesn't show all my fat)
    • my face is waaay too chubby at any weight that's not underweight
    • I feel like I'll be more "normal" if I'm skinny (as in i won't act like a complete mess all the time, idk if this one makes sense :emoji_confused:)
    • thin = pretty, and no matter what, I cannot get that thought to change
  19. I’m hoping that if I lose enough weight, I won’t have this big, fat, ugly protruding stomach.